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This song is so relaxing and give me the mood I need to write.
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Back then… (8.19.12)
Writing this poem trying not to spill out my heart
But for some reason I feel I should explain how I felt from the start
You caught my eye during my college years I knew you were smart
I started to wonder “how would this man treat my heart”
I approached slowly but my words never came out
Then you spoke like you knew where my head was
“Hey pretty lady how’s your day”
I smirked and responded “I think I’m okay”
He said “If you ask me u look fine, I saw your smile from across the way and took it as a sign”
Impressed by where the conversation was headed
But in my mind a broken heart I dreaded
I love hard and I know this man had potential
For days I avoided the inevitable
But he finally caught up to me and questioned my motive
I told him how my heart couldn’t take much hurt
He responded “I understand that sweetheart, but I’m not just after your heart”
He always left me wondering I had to give him a chance
So through this friendship we danced
Danced around the “love” portion
I found my heart opening with ease
I could not believe I was going to let him in
He was so into me and me into him how much longer would this friend zone stand
**to be continued**
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Old Dreamy (9.3.11)
I dont like this new you
I’m missing the old one I knew
Maybe one day you’ll come back to me
Until then I guess I’m left wondering
Where did he go
Why did he lead me on
I guess I feel into this trap he set
Like a mouse there was the cheese and I nibbled
I dabbled for a bit into the ocean of maybe’s
I dreamt of a future that probably will never happen
Just a bunch of hopes
Most of which will never be fulfilled
Why did I allow this mistake
Opened my heart
Now I’m using this poetry as my escape
I guess our union was not fate
At the present time it felt more than right
Now that I review it, it was all wrong
I fell “in love” with the element of your tongue
The passion during sex
But it was all fake
I never wanted you as a boyfriend, your not even considered an ex
Just someone I lusted after
I have a new dream now, you’ll always be my old
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Why I loved you (8.28.11)
I loved you, but why I did I could never figure out
Was this really love or maybe it was lust
Dedicated years to this feeling I never really understood
At first it was something good
But it then turned into many questions
I groomed you into my “dream” guy
You turned out as not so much
Things happened
We grew apart
Communication stopped
All I ever wanted us to be was at the “top”
Success and everything else
My concept for us sounded like a dream
But you were all for it you were my “team”
What happened to my biggest supporter
What happened to my lover
Why does it always end up like this I put so much into something and left with sh*t
I’m getting so tired of this result
I’m wondering what I’ve done wrong
Sitting with my notebook and listening to the same song
Tryna replay situations that led to this end result
Tryna figure out why I loved you
But why I loved you I guess ill never figure out
Maybe it was something I had to go through to help me grow
And even if it came back I would still reject it so..
Stay away don’t try to give your heart back to me
We were not meant to be
God has put me on a different path and I don’t see you with me
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Untitled (3.12.12)
When your ready
I’m jus waiting for the night when you don’t leave
Instead i can lie on you and listen to you’re heartbeat
That type of thing soothes me
I think it fits us
But only when your ready
I don’t want to force the issue
I want you to be able to trust me
I want to be the only person you have to run to when in need
I don’t want to be selfish
I don’t want you to think you won’t be free
But I do want that comfort that you’ll never leave
I want you to be my last “boyfriend”
But also my first husband
It just feels right when we are together
But I don’t want to scare you off so I will wait until your ready
Just know I’ll be here …… Waiting
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Cover Girl (1.14.12)
I feel sorry for the next man who dates her
All because she hides behind this makeup
To hide her emotions inside
She thought this would make her forget about him
But every dude she passes she thinks about him
Its like no man has a fighting chance
She purposely doesn’t give them one
Because for some reason she feels if she waits back to her he will run
I feel sorry for the next guy that dates this cover girl
Because you’ll think she likes you but she doing nothing but comparing you to her old boo
The one that broke her heart
The one she will never forget
The one she will always love
So I doubt if she has room for you
Because in her heart he still lies
Like he is stuck in there with crazy glue
She not even trying to get rid of him
I feel so sorry for them
Them being good man trying to show her more than pain
But she wants nothing more but to feel just that
So separated from society she should have a sign on her back
One that reads: “I’m a cover girl in and out, my heart has been pained, so in other man I doubt, I let my past predict my future so I will never advance”
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Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature’s law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it’s dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared. -Tupac (this poem inspired my logo. Thank you Adlai Moss for your creative skill!)
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CTFU!
(via astoldbygigi-deactivated2012122)
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Untitled (1.3.12)
Thinking back to a time when I actually enjoyed hearing from you
Weather it was a tweet, text or a facebook message
Thinking back to a time I enjoyed your company and didn’t matter if I paid the bill
But now to much time has passed
To many unanswered questions
Most would think it was about sex
But I never wanted to be nothing more than friends
Because we shared the same interest
Enjoyed similar movies
Made each other laugh
But how could I possibly think I could befriend you
When all you wanted was to use me for the “gain” of you
I was your entertainment, there was never any real interest
I opened up to you and now I feel like a fool
Silly me, T I’ve told you before everyone aint as real as you
My genuine open heart is always played the fool
I should have seen the sign that told me to detour from you
But in ways in the beginning you inspired me
That’s what attracted my attention to you
All I really wanted was to learn from you
But you’ll never really know it
Because your so closed minded and closed in that you thought I wanted to be more than your friend
Welp, now were not even that I don’t even want you as an associate
I’ve erased your number that was first
I blocked your twitter that was second
No longer facebook friends that was third
Then I wrote this poem that was last
Because you are now my past
I don’t desire to hear, see or think of you
This untitled poem has a title but I’ll leave it blank and dedicate it to you
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Man of my “Dreams” (10.5.11)
I spoke to God asked him to give me forgiveness in my heart
For those who have broken it
I also asked him for a better man
The type of man who understands me
I know that type of man doesn’t exist
Maybe I can find him in my “dreams”
I close my eyes and I then see an outline of the man of my “dreams”
God is giving me a chance to see
Possibly my future king
In my heart I know I’m someone’s queen
I know I defiantly deserve to be
So I continue to” dream” with that thought
I see my outlined man even in my “dreams” I’m scared to approach
Its a “dream” but it feels so real
I try to build my confidence but my shyness interferes
He is starting to fade away
Am I starting to awake
I look on the side of me and its another one night stand
I have to get rid of this fad
This life is getting old quick
This life is a bunch of empty feelings
I know my heart is healing
But that man of my “dreams” looks real fulfilling
I know I haven’t fully seen him but I got this feeling
Man of my “dreams” when I see you again I will approach you
This time with confidence
This time with reassurance that you are real
I close my eyes to imagine
But all the while you’ve been in my life hidden
**Message**Sometimes we don’t someone’s worth. We search and search but all the while they have been in front of us. Hidden to us because we’ve never payed them any attention**Message**